It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter.
When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by" his father said.
"Wouldn't you know it", the boy fumed, "The one Sunday I don't go, He shows up!"
SUPPORT A FAMILY
The prospective father in law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"
The surprised groom to be replied, "Well, no... I was just planning to support your daughter.
The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon. He reached into his bag of
props and pulled out an egg. He pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"
"I know!" A little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!"
Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was.
Grandma answered, "39 and holding."
Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old would you be if you let go?"
A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came
near his pew,the boy said loudly, "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."
The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?"
"No Mam," He replied. "We don't have to. My mom is a good cook!"
THE WATER PISTOL
When my three year old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He
squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you, don't you remember how we used to drive you
crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied, "Yep.....I remember."
U.S. Air recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on business trips.
Expecting valuable testimonials, the PR department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used
the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Letters are still pouring in asking, "What trip?"
LIFE AFTER DEATH
"Do you believe in life after death?" The boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes sir," the new employee replied.
"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on; "Because after you left early yesterday to go to your
grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!"