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Three Wise Women
What would have happened if it had been three wise women who visited the baby Jesus instead of three
wise men?
They would have asked directions, gotten there early, cleaned the stable, made a casserole and brought
practical gifts.

A Saucy Reply
A man’s dentures were bothering him. They had become all pitted and scarred. “What have you been
eating?” asked his dentist.
“Hollandaise sauce,” the man replied.  “And no matter what you say, I’m not giving it up.”
“Okay,” the dentist said.  “I’ll make you new plates out of chrome.  Everyone knows that there’s no plates
like chrome for the hollandaise.”

Staying Ahead of the Weather
An old-timer walked into town each morning to buy a newspaper at the general store. One morning, the
proprietor warned him that there was a blizzard predicted for the following day.
“In that case,” said the old-timer, “I’d better buy two papers.  I might not be able to make it into town
tomorrow.”

Did You Ever Wonder...
Why is it that doctors call what they do practice?
Where do forest rangers go when they want to get away from it all?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Moved
A young pupil was asked by his teacher to recite Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address.
The youngster thought about it for a moment, then confessed, “I didn’t know he had moved!”

Simply Stating the Facts
Two cowboys met at a cattle auction.  “Howdy, pardner,” said the first cowboy. “My name is Tex.”
“Well, howdy,” said the other.  “Are you from Texas?”
“No, I’m from Louisiana,” the first answered.  “But what cowboy wants to be called Louise?”

A Bit Shell-Shocked
Two friends were talking about problems they were having.  “My brother thinks he’s a chicken,” said one.
“Why don’t you tell him he isn’t a chicken?” responded the other.
“I can’t,” replied the first. “Our family needs the eggs.”

Simmer Down
Man does not live by bread alone.  He has to handle some hot potatoes, know his onions, be worth his salt
and try not to reach the boiling point. It’s little wonder that man is constantly in a stew.

Rooting for a Cure
Through the ages, humans have discovered different ways to treat common ailments:
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Swallow this pill.
1980 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is ineffective. Here, eat this root.
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