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Clown
Two Pennies
What did the penny say to the other penny?
We make perfect cents.
Soooeee-t Dreams
Those high-tech ‘space foam’ mattresses have become mighty
popular, but country kids can sleep sow-ndly without ’em.
High on the hog
Catching Some ZZZ's.
This is how our son, Alex, 12,
passes the time while our sow
'Millie" eats her supper.
Photo by Phyllis B. Luning, Nevada
The Power of Prayer
A small boy badly wanted a baby brother, so his dad suggested he pray every night for one. The boy prayed
earnestly, night after night, but his prayers seemingly weren’t answered. After a few weeks, he didn’t bother
to ask anymore.
Some months later, his dad said they were going to see Mom in the hospital and he was going to get a big
surprise. When they got to the room, the little boy saw his mother holding two babies.
“Well, what do you think about having twin brothers?” his dad asked. The little boy thought for a moment and
replied, “I bet you’re glad I stopped praying when I did.”

A Simpler Solution?
Little Billy’s kindergarten class went on a field trip to the local police station. They saw a bulletin board with
photos of the FBI’s 10 most-wanted criminals. Billy pointed to one of the photos and asked the officer if that
person was really a most-wanted criminal.
“He certainly is,” answered the officer. Billy replied, “Then why didn’t you just keep him when you took his
picture?”

Nothing Fishy Here
A farmer spotted a city fellow fishing in his pond and pointed out the big sign nearby that read NO FISHING
HERE!
The disgusted fisherman nodded. “Whoever put that sign up really knew what he was talking about. I haven’t
had even a nibble all morning.”

There’s an Eyewitness
Late one night, a man driving along a dark country road heard a big thud and knew he’d hit something. He
stopped and got out to look but didn’t see anything.
The next morning, the sheriff came to his home.
“You’re under arrest,” the officer said. “You hit a pig with your car last night.”
“Now how in the world do you know that?” the man asked.
The sheriff replied without hesitation, “The pig squealed.”

Just a Fleeting Memory
Three elderly men were bemoaning memory losses they were experiencing. The first said, “I forget whether   
I’ve had lunch at the cafe or if I’m just getting ready to go there.”
The second joined in, “When I’m holding a jar of sandwich spread, I don’t know if I should put it back in the
refrigerator or make a sandwich.”
The third piped up, “Friends, I’m sure glad I don’t have your problems, knock on wood.” As he did this, he
said, “Oh, someone’s knocking at the door. I’ll get it.”

Cattle Prod
A young man in love with a pretty young lady wanted to impress her, so he took her to his farm to show her
his large herd of cattle. When they got to the pasture, they noticed two cows with their noses pressed
together as if they were kissing.
“I sure would like to do that,” said the young man as he moved a little closer to the girl.
“Go ahead,” she answered. “They’re your cattle.”

And Rome Burned
A man at a railroad station got bored waiting for his train, so he helped himself to a fortune cookie from a
nearby tray. The paper strip from inside the cookie read: “You will play a fiddle very soon“.
The man scoffed. He had played the fiddle years before but no longer even owned one. Just then, another
man came by and handed him a fiddle, saying, “Will you watch this while I get my luggage?”
He did, and he couldn’t resist playing a tune while waiting for the other man to return. When the man came
back and took his fiddle, the first man chuckled. “Well, that fortune came true,” he said, “but it will never
happen again.”
With that, he took another fortune cookie, opened it and read: “While you were fiddling around, you missed
your train”.

Maybe It’s the Float
A wife walked into the house and told her husband, “There’s water in the carburetor.”
“You don’t know the difference between a carburetor and a generator,” he huffed. “Where’s the car?”
She shrugged. “At the bottom of the lake.”
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